Breaking up with someone you thought you would be with forever is devastatingly painful. After the break up you feel like your life is in autopilot mode, the days go slower and although you try to keep yourself busy, your new-found loneliness gets to you at night.
Here are some tips to keep you going:
- Delete their number and previous conversations: Keeping numbers and WhatsApp conversations will make things much worse than they already are. You’ll be tempted to talk to them because that’s what you’re used to and that doesn’t help anyone in the situation.
- Delete them off social media: Stalking your ex on socials will make you upset, so why do it? Focus on you and forget about them, you don’t need to know what they’re doing.
- Remember why you broke up: After a break up we tend to look at the relationship with rose-tinted glasses and everything looks good when reminiscing but in reality the relationship wasn’t. That’s what loneliness does to you, it makes you forget all the pain suffered and crave comfort and company because that’s what you’re used to. But then you have to ask yourself, “did that person give me the comfort and company I needed or did I constantly have to beg for it?” If you have something that can remind you why you broke up keep it hidden somewhere on your phone, e.g. A break up text, a screenshot or write yourself a letter in your notes.
Don’t let loneliness drive you into the arms of someone who doesn’t deserve you.
- Surround yourself with friends and family who love you:Don’t lock yourself away from the world for extended periods of time, it will make you feel like you have no one that cares for you, but you do.
- Let your emotions out: Cry, scream, go for a jog, write your feelings down in your journal and close the page, watch your favourite movies, cry some more. You’re allowed to be upset.
- It’s better to be alone, than staying in bad company:
Self-explanatory, it’s better to be sad and single than being unhappy and in a bad relationship where your needs and feelings are constantly ignored making you feel sad all the time. You’ll get over your initial sadness of being single over time and be grateful that things ended.
- Being single gives you the chance to be 100% invested in yourself🥂: There are so many benefits to being single, you literally have all the time in the world to get to know yourself better. How is that not a blessing?
- Being single allows you to take opportunities without consulting others and their feelings e.g. Travelling. You could travel the world and not think how would my partner feel?
- You can take the time to figure out what’s important to you and what qualities you want in your next partner.
- You have the time to start things you have been procrastinating about e.g. a blog, a business venture, reading your bible more, taking care of your health (although this should always be important, but it’s easy to forget about yourself in a relationship).
- You learn to appreciate your amazing qualities: your beauty, kindness to others, your ability to turn bad situations around.
- Most importantly, you can find peace in solitude. You learn how to enjoy your own company, do stuff on your own and not depend on anyone else.
- Don’t take things to the extreme:
Don’t put yourself in dangerous situations because you’re sad. Binge-drinking and taking drugs will bring you pain, not peace.
- There’s someone out there for everyone:
If someone isn’t treating you well, giving you the love and comfort you deserve or meeting your standards, dump them because someone else surely will. I’m a strong believer that there is someone out there for everyone so don’t settle because life is too short.
- Lastly, don’t rush the process:
Break ups are hard and you can’t rush getting over someone. So take each day as it goes, don’t hide your emotions and learn how to find peace in being single, it’s worth it.