LADIES: Put yourself 1st & be selfish

As women, we continuously put others before ourselves. We nurture, support, congratulate, motivate and basically give our all to others and then there’s nothing left for us. And quite frankly, I’m tired of it. A lot of women are selfless and give their all to others before thinking about themselves and then they’re left with nothing to show for it e.g. they sacrifice loads for a guy, sometimes life-changing opportunities and are left short changed.

I once saw a quote that went along the lines of:

“I gave everyone bricks to build their houses and when I looked back I had no bricks to build my own and everyone shut me out and forgot about me”

Now, some people will read that and think how stupid, why would you secure everyone else first and forget about yourself. Quite frankly you’re right. When you continually put others (men) before yourself and take a backseat in your own life, you fall into the trap of being disappointed when they don’t reciprocate the treatment, effort and love you have given them.

“One day someone you did everything for will turn around and tell you they never asked you to do those things and it will hurt you because they are right”

Save yourself the disappointment, alot of the people you make sacrifices and jump over rivers for wouldn’t jump over a puddle for you so think about yourself first and be selfish. Don’t neglect your dreams because you’re making someone else your main focus (who by the way is concentrating on themselves not you).

Personally, I’m tired of seeing stories where women have poured out their soul to mould a man into the person he is today or have really messed up their finances for someone who doesn’t give a flying toss about them. (You shouldn’t mess up your finances for anyone, if you think trust is hard to build, try rebuilding your credit rating lololol.)

All jokes aside, ladies please secure yourself first before you help others, be selfish with your time, finances and everything else that relates to you. Make sure you care about yourself enough to ensure your own needs are met. Stop giving up good careers (or thinking about giving up good careers) for men who wouldn’t skip match of the day for you. Don’t give up your career for anyone. Stop overexaggerating your place in people’s lives. Seriously, save yourself the heartbreak when you realize he (or she) will never do the same for you because they only care about themselves. Always remember you are the most important person in your life, so you should ALWAYS put yourself 1st.

  • Don’t you get tired of being disappointed by the way someone treats you?
  • Don’t you think this recurring cycle needs to be stopped?
  • Don’t you know that you’re not a doormat, so you weren’t made to be stepped on?

Now I’m not saying don’t be nice and stop helping people, no because it is nice to be nice. I’m saying don’t neglect yourself because you’re trying to be Mother Teresa for others.

So be selfish with everything you do: Be selfish with your space, take time out for reflection, nurture and think about your own growth, be your own cheerleader, tolerate nothing. Focus on you! (1).png

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  1. well thought out article. For some of us is just knowing the right time to draw the line.

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