If you don’t compare, you don’t compete, so don’t compare.

Constantly comparing yourself to others is unhealthy at all ages. I say all ages because remember how it made you feel as a child when your parents compared you to your best friend who was very smart or your well behaved cousin or one of your friends who they thought was an angel but you knew otherwise… Yeah? It’s still unhealthy now as it was back then but this time you’re doing it to yourself.

When you compare yourself to others,  you start pointing out your flaws,  all the things you haven’t done compared to them and how much “better” other people are  compared to you which is very destructive behaviour.

Comparison is the death of joy – Theodore Roosevelt

Continuous comparisons can make you forget the good things you have in your life, this leads to: envy, low self-confidence, resentment and general unhappiness. None of these feelings have helped anyone achieve anything but it’s been happening since the beginning of time. Due to the rise of social media, we think we see every aspect of people’s lives, in reality, we really don’t as social media is a faux representation of life. Remember, people only show you the good parts of their lives so you shouldn’t compare yourself or feel bad  for not having what they  have. You don’t see the struggles they’ve had, all the times they have wanted to give up and what they did to get there. You only see what they want you to see The same way you compare yourself to others, is probably the same way someone is comparing themselves to you; see how crazy that sounds? So instead of comparing, you should focus on yourself  and turn those negative feelings into motivation to do better for yourself.

Why I stopped comparing myself to others:
As time has gone on, I have learnt to focus on me and not compare my journey to anyone else because it is futile and stops me from celebrating the most important person in my life, myself.  I know Rome wasn’t built in a day and my time will come as long as I work hard and focus.  Great things take time and no one has achieved success overnight (unless they’ve won the EuroMillions but then again that’s luck not an achievement) so I keep working on myself.  For example  if I decided to compare myself with other bloggers or even Youtubers who get loads of traffic on their websites and have thousands of followers, getting 1000 views per day etc then my 1000 views in my last post  would feel meaningless, it would turn into something negative and I would be upset that I wasn’t at their ‘level.’

Regardless of how things look on social media and in everyday life, no one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes and  has their down-days which I don’t see. Over the years I have become more appreciative of myself and grateful for what I have which has helped me want to celebrate me more because if you can’t celebrate yourself who is going to celebrate you? Lastly I find inspiration from looking at others instead of being jealous because jealousy has never helped anyone achieve anything ever. So what’s the point of me wasting my time?

As I said in the title,  If you don’t compare, you don’t compete, so don’t compare. Sometimes we’re our harshest critics, this can limit our perception of ourselves and makes us put others on an undeserved pedestal which is why comparisons are so detrimental. So stop comparing and focus on the most important person in your life, yourself. 

 

 Photo taken by me in Miami, Florida – September 2016.

How to achieve your goals

2017 is finally upon us and a new year means new goals.  Unlike the previous uncompleted new year resolutions, this year will be different.

We will achieve what we said we will, once we stay focused.

I created this infographic to encourage you to stay focused on what you want.

goals-again

 

  1. Set clear goals
    • Whatever your goal is, it has to be clearly defined. You need to know the exact outcome of what you want.
  2. Ensure your goals are S.M.A.R.T
    • S.M.A.R.T goals are : Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time Sensitive
    • Specific: What exactly do I want to accomplish?
    • Measurable: How will I know when I have completed it?
      How can I track my progress?
    • Attainable:Is it attainable? Can I achieve it with the resources I have?
    • Relevant: Is this goal important to me? What will completing it do for me? Is now the right time to do it?
    • Time Sensitive: When do I want to  completion date?
    • Example of a bad smart goal:
      • I want to become a better saver this year
    • Example of good smart goals:
      • I want to save £3000 by December so I will save £250 every month
  3. Write your goals down
    • This will act as a reminder and help you concentrate
  4. Research the actions required to achieve what you want
  5. Split the actions into smaller tasks
    • This will make it seem less daunting and give yourself dates to complete it by.
  6. Plan and prioritize your time wisely.
  7. Use a vision board to help visualize your success.
    • A vision board is a collection of images  and texts that are related to what YOU want in life.  You can create a vision board for each specific goal or for a collection of goals.
  8. Execute your plan
    • Do what you said you would.
  9. Regularly review your progress to check if you are still on track 
  10. Stay motivated
    • Don’t give up!

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