“Death is the only destination we all share”
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life…
Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Everything else is secondary.”
– Steve Jobs, 2005
Hi, you’re going to die one day, stop living for your parents.
From my own experiences, the experiences of my friends, family and many others, I have noticed that too many of us are living for our parents. There is a difference between wanting to make your parents proud by doing things they approve of, that you also enjoy, and living your parents version of your life, which you hate.
Making your parents proud and enjoying what you do:
Now, if your parents are pushing you to do something you want to do, which, will make them proud and you enjoy it, then work hard and put your all in it. People tend to succeed at their passions because it doesn’t make them miserable.
If you’re not enjoying what you do and you’re living your parents’ life:
Nah, I’m kidding.
Find a way out of whatever you’re doing and talk to your parents. If they are extremely strict and borderline nutjobs then find a way to do what you really want to do on the side and build from there.
If you live for your parents, you may end up missing amazing opportunities because they couldn’t see the vision you had, or end up marrying a terrible partner because you wanted to uphold family ‘honour’ and make them happy when in reality, the only opinion of you that truly matters is your own.
Stopping yourself from doing the things you want, can lead to regret and bitterness towards your parents and yourself for listening to their opinions. I’m telling you now, stop betraying your dreams. Doing things that make you happy, adds value to your life, so stop living by your parents’ life goals for you. The aim is to live an authentic life where your actions reflect your beliefs, goals and vision, it is also essential for your own happiness and your happiness is always important.
So many people would have lived richer and fuller lives if their parents supported and instilled confidence and fearlessness into them to pursue their dreams rather than playing it safe and telling them to live a ‘normal’ life instead.
How many parents told their kids to give up football/tennis and many other sports to pursue being a doctor? If that kid ended up failing medical school because that wasn’t their passion, their parents would berate them for failing when they could have been the next Mbappé, Ronaldo or Serena? How many parents told their kids to give up drama and singing only for them to see someone of a similar background to them succeeding when it could have been them? How many people wanted to start Youtubing years ago but their parents said ‘no’ and now they’re filled with regret thinking about where they could have been if they started when they wanted? Too many.
Not all advice given is bad though
Don’t disregard all your parents’ advice because sometimes they can be right. They’re older, most want the best for you, and have a large amount of experience, however, take their advice with a pinch of salt and do your own research because although they have many experiences, they may not be right for you. I am not telling you to rebel, drop out of school or start doing crazy things like taking drugs or payday loans because they’re huge decisions with lifelong effects, the last two being more detrimental than others and not something you should do anyway. Nevertheless, If there’s something you really want to do and you have researched it well (and it’s not illegal) then weigh out the pros and cons and decide for yourself because this life is yours.
Don’t let your parents kill your dreams before you get the chance to step into them. You only have one life to live, and 9 times out of 10 you are the only person who will live with the results of your decisions. So, be wise, stop living for your parents and liberate yourself from a life full of regret.